3 good days and then a binge. I am a complete failure. Utterly fucking worthless.
I had a ton of chocolate Better’n Peanut Butter (like 600 calories), plus a 140-calorie chocolatey fiber bar. And a few swigs of chocolate milk (like 100 calories?).
I know 840 calories is not the end of the world, but I feel so angry with myself.
I don’t even know why I ate them. Like, as I was eating I was thinking “Why am I doing this? I wasn’t even craving these. I’m not even enjoying this food.” But I physically couldn’t stop.
Tomorrow I am going to eat very few calories. I wouldn’t have time to exercise tomorrow anyway, so I’m not worried about getting fatigued. I’m not going to let this ruin everything!!!!! I’ll try to limit myself to 800 calories or so tomorrow to try to balance things a little. I am going to weigh fucking 150 by Spring Break. I have to. The very thought of being this fat any longer makes me physically ill.